


The Adventures of Rainger Honeydew : Volume 3

by alexstarwras123



Series: The Adventures of Rainger Honeydew [3]
Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)
Genre: Anger, Engagement, Loner, Schizophrenia, Training, hesitant, remembering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:40:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23355571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexstarwras123/pseuds/alexstarwras123
Summary: Raine is happy for his newly engaged friends but deals with his own personal past of failed relationships.
Series: The Adventures of Rainger Honeydew [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1600621
Kudos: 1





	The Adventures of Rainger Honeydew : Volume 3

Rainger laid in his new quarters after getting home from a mascarade. He had joined up with a new group of people, The Brazen Flame, and hoped he’d do well by them. But so far he didn’t feel the most welcome. Raine wasn’t the most fond of the Sith, or the Mandalorians. But he didn’t want to get stuck with the Jedi either. He had the rage of a Sith and a similar code to the Mandalorians. But he still felt like he was the odd one out. The two Sith of the group he trusted had just gotten engaged, he was happy for them. But along with that brought back feelings of pain. Rainger looked around his room at his gear and souvenirs he picked up over the years. He looked at his first uniform, back when he was a guardsmen. They discharged him. He looked over at a stone tablet from when he worked with a group of Renegades on Yavin. He looked at a white version of the uniform he wore now, back when he worked with a Coalition. He left those two. He had a sinking feeling this new group would follow behind.

“What are you doing with your life, lad?” he held his head in his hands “You’re lonely but you don’t go out to make friends.”

But Rainger had gone out before. In all cases he caused them harm. He had a darkness inside of him that he found hard to control at times. He gazed at himself in the mirror, brushing his fingers over the scar on his eye. He got that from a cute girl back when he worked with the Coalition. He grew fond of her and he tried his best to win her over. But she blocked him out. 

“I’m sorry Raine, I can’t. I just can’t, okay?” those words echoed in his mind

He snapped back to now and wiped a tear away. He sat in the dark with the same empty feeling in his heart. He wanted someone to love. Someone to hold. Someone who he could care for if they felt like they had no one left who did. But every time he failed. He had been abused, lied to, and forgotten. Over the past few months he made sure to harden his heart. Tarnished himself to make sure he improved.

“You’re the reason they are in pain. The reason they want to hide.” A dark voice crept in his ear. Raine looked to the mirror again and saw a dark reflection.

“Yeah, well. You’re no help.” He said to himself “I thought I took care of you.”

“Hehehe. No…..no you won't get rid of me that easily. I will always be with you, and I will always be watching.” The other Raine laughed. “You won’t find someone who can mend your heart. I will make sure you feel the pain, make sure you never trust us again.”

Raine stood up and ignored the Dark Reflection. He grabbed his workout bag and headed toward the training area. Passing by his old makeshift gear from when he was a gladiator for a Hutt.

= The Brazen Flame’s Training Hall =

Raine took off his shirt and wrapped his hands in cloth before doing some stretches. He started with a little bit of pull ups making sure he warmed up his muscles before really getting into training.

“One…..two…..three…..” He counted for a while “ninety-eight…..ninety-nine…...one hundred.” He dropped down and did another quick stretch before drying off the minimal amount of sweat he had. He made his way over to the climbing wall that he had requested put up. He spent the next few hours going up and down the wall, without a harness or rope. Since it was the end of the week he didn’t do his normal hand-to-hand combat training. But he never turned down someone who wanted to spar. He made sure to keep his shape up to a point he could live with. He wasn’t super bulky but he knew he caught the glance of a few females when he trained. He didn’t mind but he knew they didn’t care for the real him. The real reason he trained was to keep his mind focused. Once he stepped out of that area he could easily be taken over by other emotions, making his way back to his room.

= Rainger A. Honeydew’s Quarters =

Rainger turned on his shower and stepped in, not even waiting for it to heat up. The shock of the cold helped suppress his mind for a short while, plus it was healthy for the skin. He quickly washed off the sweat and soaped down. He was never too long in cleaning himself, but he did enjoy a shower every once and awhile. He rested his arm on the wall and placed his forehead on it. Here he felt that he could drop his tough guy act. Where he could just let his emotions wash a way with a short cry when no one had a chance of seeing him. He was always picking fights, and when he wasn’t he was working on his gear or training for fights. The only time he went out was to get a drink to help make sure he didn't feel. If you can’t feel pain you can stay focused, and all relationships have done is cause him pain. He realized he never made friends so he didn’t have to feel it. That it was easier to hate, then to wait for someone to care. Seeing people in love only reminded him of his failures. The one thing he couldn’t improve on just from punching a bag or tinkering with. It was the one thing that scarred him. The one thing he couldn’t control.

…..the one thing he truly wanted. Someone to love him, rather than it just be a one-way street.


End file.
